A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Honda ... because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. 2 Cor 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Who was the shortest man in the Bible?
ReplyDeleteSome say Knee-High Miah (Nehemiah); others say Bildad the Shoe-Height (Shuite); but in fact, it was David. How short was he? He slept on his watch.
How did the pastor's wife prove to him that he should make the coffee?
ReplyDeleteShe opened the Bible to HEBREWS.
Someone obviously went to 'Godspell' too often !
ReplyDeleteMy question, though, is why fr Ursus isn't in the photo ? . . . surely he was in the party - or was the cocoa on Christmas night too much for him ?
Always thought the OPs lived in Priories.
ReplyDeleteWhat's this "Abbey Road" bit all about?
Good post and lots of liturgical laughs, thank you, Godzdogs!!
Pax
Vm
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(BST UK 00.25pm 29/12/2009)
One more car one....
ReplyDeleteWhy did Mary walk to see her cousin Elizabeth? Because she had given God her "Fiat"
Groan....
ReplyDeleteA Happy and Blessed New Year to you all at Godzdogz!!!
Growls to Br. Ursus - who I presume is still in hibernation.
Pax
VM
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(BST UK 01.19am 1st Jan 2010)