Litany of Loreto - Mother ...

Last year, as part of our study programme here at Blackfriars, I attended a series of lectures on psychology and its intersections with theology. I was surprised to discover that psychology had preserved a theory of 'original sin', expressed under a number of different guises, during that period in the twentieth century when many theologians became reluctant to endorse the teaching.

Psychologists such as Freud, Jung, and Klein argued in favour of a link between the experiences of early childhood and the formation of unconscious aspects of the mind which can affect an individual's adult behaviour without them necessarily being aware of it. If correct, this theory has some interesting implications for the way we think about original sin which, as Herbert McCabe OP puts it, is 'sin that has infected us from our origins'.

Traditionally original sin has been understood as a defect in human nature that has been handed on from generation to generation. Sometimes it has even been associated with our biology but always with our solidarity with each other as members of the same 'race'. However, in the wake of Darwin's theory of evolution attempts have been made to complement this view, looking not just at our birth into the human race but with an added emphasis on the process after birth in which an individual comes to full personhood. If we are to become the person we were made to be, we must be immersed in loving relationships. The sad fact is that we are born into a world which starves us of this love and stunts our development. In a sense we are crippled from our origins by a lack of love, and this, so the argument goes, is the root of all evil that we call original sin.

Mary, of course, was protected from sin from her conception. She was free from original sin. This was so she could be a fitting ark for the new covenant. Yet Mary remained an 'ark' for Jesus for longer than the nine months that he was in her womb. She provided the loving context in which his human nature matured and he became the Man that God willed him to be. In the image of Mary and the child Jesus, then, we see the ideal human community. We see a loving relationship that allows both Mary and Jesus to become what they were meant to be. Through Christ's death and resurrection we can now enter into this community, becoming members of Christ, with Mary as our Mother, in order that we might reach our final end in God that is our beatitude.

LAUNCH OF INITIATIVE TO UNITE BELIEVERS AND NON-BELIEVERS

Godzdogz readers will remember our 'On the Areopagus' series to mark the Year of Paul. Last week the Pontifical Council for Culture announced an initiative along the same lines ...

VATICAN CITY, 27 JAN 2011 (VIS) - On 24 and 25 March, the Pontifical Council for Culture, the president of which is Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi, will launch a new permanent Vatican structure to be known as the "Courtyard of the Gentiles", the aim of which is to promote dialogue and encounter between believers and non-believers.

According to a communique released by the council, the launch will involve three colloquia on the themes of "religion, enlightenment and common reason". They will be held on 24 March at the Paris headquarters of UNESCO, on the morning of 25 March at the Sorbonne University and on the afternoon of the same day at the "Institut de France". The colloquia will be followed by a round table discussion at the "College des Bernardins".

On the evening of 25 March a celebration will be organised on the forecourt of the cathedral of Notre Dame with the theme: "Into the Courtyard of the Unknown". The event is open to everyone. especially young people, and will involve artistic creations, music, drama, lights, meeting and reflection. Exceptionally, the cathedral will remain open for those who wish to participate in a prayer vigil and shared meditation.

If Love it is ... Aquinas Lecture 2011

You can listen here to Fr Michael Sherwin's Aquinas Lecture, delivered in the Aula at Blackfriars on 26th January 2011.

Quodlibet 33 - The date of St Thomas' feast

I was wondering if you could explain why St Thomas' feast was moved from 7th March to 28th January. In particular, what is the significance of the new date?

The Second Vatican Council, in its Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy Sacrosanctum Concilium, emphasised the importance of the liturgical seasons (SC 108) which structure the Church's year around her celebration of the Paschal Mystery at Easter, and allow her in the course of the year to contemplate the different aspects of Christ's life, and so of our salvation. Lent has a special place in this cycle as the season which immediately prepares us for the celebration of Easter, and so is given a particular priority: in the celebration of the Eucharist and the Divine Office during Lent we notice, for example, the absence of lesser celebrations of the Saints (memorias) as we focus on the significance of the season.

In the Universal Church, St Thomas' feast day is celebrated as a memoria, which means that, if it were kept on 7th March, it would usually be omitted, because that day normally falls in Lent. Therefore, as part of the reform of the Roman Calendar in 1969, his feast was moved to 28th January, the day on which, in 1369, his relics were translated to the Dominican church in Toulouse. Although the church was sadly confiscated by the State during the French Revolution, St Thomas' relics were preserved and remain there to this day.

Saints this Month - 28th January: St Thomas Aquinas

As we celebrate the feast of St Thomas Aquinas, the great Dominican Doctor of the Church, it seems appropriate to reflect on his teaching, in which in particular we recognise his sanctity. First of all, we can marvel at the sheer quantity of writings he left: suffice it to say they occupy several shelves in the library here at Blackfriars! The amount of works St Thomas wrote, and the range of them, gives us a sense of his passion for exploring what we can know about God and for passing on his insights and discoveries to others. Perhaps unsurprisingly, among the many questions he considers is, in effect, what is the point of all this talking about God? Why do we need doctrine? How is knowing things about God useful?

The answer, which could be seen as a theme running through the whole structure of his most famous work, the Summa Theologiae, is that the fulfilment of human beings is to be found in something not just beyond ourselves but beyond what we could work out for ourselves: to discover it, and so to attain it, we need not only the conclusions we could come to on our own, but also the truths which God has revealed. In this already we see the amazing fact at the heart not only of doing theology but of our human life itself: God, the Creator of all that exists, is not some remote object for us to consider from afar, but has drawn close to us, revealed himself to us, and in that shown his love for us. In this we find that the purpose of human life, the fulfilment which we need God’s revelation to understand, is nothing other than seeing and knowing God as he really is, in what we call the beatific vision. Thus, in seeking to know God, not only do we learn what he has revealed about our ultimate fulfilment, but already by his grace we have a foretaste of that fulfilment.

All this is amazing enough in itself: as we read the Bible and explore, with the great theologians such as St Thomas, the many implications of what God has revealed, we discover many wondrous truths about God and his love for mankind; and yet, as St Thomas reminds us in the words he spoke after the mystical vision he had at the end of his life, all that he wrote is ‘as straw’ compared with the splendour of the reality which awaits us in the blessed life to which God calls us all.

In the News.

As we come to the end of the Octave of Christian Unity it seems apt to consider the ground breaking events that established the Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham. Our brother Aidan Nichols preached at the first mass of Father Andrew Burnham and his homily can be found here.

This week is also cause for great celebration in Manila, as the Order celebrates the quadricentenary of the the University of Santo Tomas, one of the largest Catholic Universities in the world and one of the oldest outside Europe. The week long celebration will be capped by the feast of St. Thomas Aquinas. More information can be found here

Our Brothers in India have set up a vocations blog which gives a fascinating insight into the Order in the subcontinent and is well worth a browse.

Finally, the latest series of An Island Parish on BBC2 is focusing on Catholic life in the most southerly islands of the Outer Hebrides and the three priests that serve their communities. Readers in Great Britain can watch it on iPlayer

The Aquinas Lecture 2011

Saints this Month - January 25th, The Conversion of Saint Paul

Do you ever wish that God would make a striking and stunning intervention in your life? I know that in my darkest moments I have wished God would make his presence known to me in a flash of lightning or a Monty Pythonesque foot-stomp. It is understandable that we could desire such an event. We think that such a solid and tangible episode will convince us beyond doubt that there is a God and our faith will be secure. Likewise maybe we study theology hoping that we will strengthen our belief through an intellectual foundation based on reason and argument or alternatively perhaps we practice spiritual exercises in the hope that we will enter a mystical ecstasy that will confirm us in our union with God. Whilst all of these things are not bad in themselves they are lacking something essential: the Holy Spirit!

When people talk about the Damascene conversion of Saint Paul it is often presupposed that Saul converted as he fell off his horse. However if we look at the narrative in Acts, we see that Saul was blinded for three days. It is only when Ananias lays hands upon him and calls for him to be filled with the Holy Spirit, that the scales fell back and Paul realised the movement of the Spirit within him. It is then that he is baptised; it is then that he converts and turns himself radically to the Lord. Without this moving of the Holy Spirit within all of us we are still handicapped and "blind" to the risen Christ. We can be dedicated practitioners of Ignatian spirituality, have an encyclopedic knowledge of the Summa of Aquinas, and witness visions of the Virgin Mary, but if we are not open to the Holy Spirit we will fail to experience the full joy that is offered be Christ.

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Up-coming Events

Sr Valery OP has sent us news of two upcoming events.

One is a weekend for women on the religious life. It takes place at Ealing, February 4-6.

The other is a study weekend on the role of the angels in salvation. It takes place at Stone, Staffordshire, February 11-13.

For further information contact Sr Valery at 028 997 8850 or email valeryop39@googlemail.com

Litany of Loreto - Holy Virgin of Virgins

Foretold in the scriptures and attested to by the Apostles, Fathers, and subsequent Council’s of the Church, the Catholic tradition always witnesses to an indissoluble link between Mary’s Virginity and the Incarnation of the Word. It is perhaps one of the most wondrous mysteries of our faith that Our Lady was a virgin ante partum, in partu, and post partum (before, during, and after) the birth of Our Lord. In that familiar passage from Isaiah 7:14 we read, “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel.” In the Gospel of St. Luke (1:34-35) we see how this momentous occurrence came to pass when we read of Mary’s encounter with the Angel Gabriel; “Mary said to the angel: How shall this be done, because I know not man? And the angel answering, said to her: the Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the most High shall overshadow thee. And therefore also the Holy which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.” But what of this link, why is it important and what can we take from this?

There are a number of approaches to this question. Not least is the fact that the birth of Our Saviour should come from one who, immaculately conceived, was guided from birth by the Holy Spirit to remain as a ‘pure and spotless vessel’ for the birth of Our Lord. For Mary, as the Mother of God, this relationship was truly unique and the depths of this mystery are quite profound to dwell on. But aside from the importance of our venerating Mary for her role, can the example of her virginity really help us today; all of us that is, no matter what our situation as married, single, celibate, widowed, and so forth? I think, without question that it can, because Our Lady’s virginity was not simply a physical matter but a matter of the heart which disposed her most suitably for her role in God’s plan. Mary’s physical virginity (virginitas carnis) is a symbol of her virginity of heart (virginitas cordis); she is the true exemplar of our faith. Our Lady is the faithful disciple, who without any defilement, falsehood, or pride submitted gladly to God’s will and fulfilled her role with steadfastness, humility and compassion. What better example could we have of faithfulness of heart, of true and thankful submission to God’s will, than her? Likewise, we all have our unique part to play in God’s plan and our disposition to be open, faithful, and pure of heart, is essential if we are to flourish as God’s children. If we nurse pride and allow vice to take its hold upon us then we lose our virginitas cordis, so let us instead take our example from her and thus be led to Christ. Ad Iesum per Mariam.

Litany of Loreto - Holy Mother of God

 

A young girl from rural Israel receives the message from an angel. She is called to give birth to the Son of the Most High. The scene in the first chapter of the Gospel of Luke shows us a normal, young girl with rooted faith and an unpretentious simplicity, a simplicity that by the way is beautifully described in the film The Nativity Story (2006). Confronted with the angel’s message, Mary openheartedly answers: ”I am the Lord’s servant, let it happen to me as you have said”.

The Greeks called Mary “theotokos”: the one who gives birth to God, sometimes transcribed as the Mother of God. This is of course not to be understood in sense of Mother of God in eternity, but as the mother of the incarnate Son, Jesus, who is God. Mary is an image of the church, and a model for all Christians, because we are all called to be theotokos, we are all called to bring the Messiah into this world. We are all Christophers, we all carry Christ within us, and Mary shows us how to do this. By listening to God’s Word, both in the liturgy and in prayer, we come to interiorize and assimilate this Word so it becomes a source of God’s own presence in our life.

Dominican Seminar 2011

The annual seminar organised by the Dominican Association of Great Britain and Ireland took place at Hinsley Hall, Leeds from January 7th to January 9th. The theme this year was Blessed John Henry Newman.

Dr Paul Parvis opened the batting with an exploration of Newman's comments about the laity, exploring whether or not it can be said that he had a 'theology' of the laity. Dr Padraic Conway's paper, read in his absence by fr Thomas  McCarthy of the Irish Province, presented varying appraisals of Newman's time as rector of the Catholic University in Dublin. Was it a success or a failure? is a much more complicated question than it seems.

fr Richard Conrad and fr Vivian Boland enacted 'a Puginesque disputation' on the theme of conscience between Dr Newman and a contemporary Dominican friar of the Torquemada family. While the disputants seem to have agreed that the match was a draw, fr Vivian's pseudo-Oratorian garb was judged the better costume, if only for the purposes of the debate.

Sr Honor McCabe was unable to travel due to illness but her paper, on Newman's spirituality as seen in his preaching, was read for her by Sr Elizabeth Healy, regional prioress for Ireland of the Cabra congregation of Dominican sisters. 

The first full day finished with a relaxing presentation of Elgar's musical adaptation of Newman's Dream of Gerontius. fr Brendan Slevin held a discerning audience captive: they did not want to leave the lecture room even though a social evening beckoned. (Honestly, it was the music that held us back, not the thought of fraternising - again - with each other!)

The final day brought us a very fascinating account of Newman's poetry (not very good) and hymns (excellent), presented with characteristic wit and humour by Sr Anna Mary of the Stone congregation.

At the business meeting that followed it was agreed that the seminar should continue, at the same time and venue, and that next year's seminar would treat of the future of Vatican II (1962-2012), the body, and the arts - the committee is working hard at weaving all that into one theme.

The seminar was very enjoyable as well as informative, serious without becoming heavy. Some familiar faces were missed - nobody will object if Br Vincent gets special mention. The forty odd (!) Dominicans who did attend returned home encouraged and refreshed, inspired once again by the life and work of one of England's greatest sons, John Henry Newman.

Litany of Loreto - Holy Mary

The first invocation to Our Lady in the Litany of Loreto is 'Holy Mary' and it is perhaps the most general of the invocations – all the other invocations present some specific aspect of her holiness. The Litany of Loreto is a way of contemplating Mary's holiness.

Holiness is something to which we are all called; it is the ultimate reason for our existence, that we come to be like God and see Him face to face. It can be hard to keep our focus on this ultimate end – it is hard enough in religious life, never mind in a secular world which is often indifferent or hostile to the idea of holiness. It is easy to get caught up in a mindset in which holiness loses its appeal – perhaps the holy life is something we can put off until old age, or worse still, perhaps a holy life would make us dull, cold, and unadventurous.

But in Mary, holiness regains its appeal. Of all the saints, she is most easily recognisable as holy and in her, holiness is most easily seen to be beautiful. In all the difficult situations in which Mary found herself, she never used them as an excuse to put off her call to holiness, but in every thing she did, she took the opportunity to live out this calling. We see her unfailing yes to God at the annunciation, her selfless generosity in visiting her cousin Elizabeth, her desire for celebration at the wedding feast at Cana, and most importantly her loving intimacy with Christ her son, all through his life but particularly in sharing his passion and death. The holiness of Mary flows into the whole of humanity so that by contemplating her holiness we ourselves become holy.

Introduction to the Litany of Loreto

Umberto Eco has said that "the list is the origin of culture. It's part of the history of art and literature. What does culture want? To make infinity comprehensible. It also wants to create order - not always, but often. And how, as a human being, does one face infinity? How does one attempt to grasp the incomprehensible? Through lists..."

This can certainly be said of the kind of prayer that we call a Litany. The word itself comes from the Greek for supplication, and the litany consists of a list of titles and attributes of the person to whom supplication is made. Each time the person is invoked, we respond with a cry of supplication, such as 'pray for us', or 'Lord, have mercy'. As a form of prayer, litanies are a part of the liturgies of the East, and the 'Kyrie eleison' in the Roman Mass is one of the oldest forms of the litany in the West. Around the 6th century, there arose the beautiful Akathist Hymn in Constantinople which is made up of a list of titles of the Virgin Mary. With its profoundly Scriptural and Patristic references to Our Lady, it is probably the oldest antecedent to the West's Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

This is often called the Litany of Loreto because it was first approved in 1587 for use in the Shrine of the Holy House of Loreto in Italy. However, its origins and development are obscure. Some have claimed that it dates to Pope Saint Sergius I (d.701). As he was from an Antiochene Syrian-rite family, it is possible that he was acquainted with the Akathist Hymn, and subsequently introduced its invocations of the Virgin Mary to the West. Historians, however, give the Litany of Loreto a later date in the late 15th or early 16th century. Whatever its origins, and I think much can be said for its link to the Byzantine tradition, it gained great popularity in the West because of its connection to the beloved shrine of Loreto.

In 1615 the Dominican General Chapter asked that the Litany of Loreto be recited on Saturdays after the Salve Regina sung at the end of Compline in all the convents of the Order. The custom of reciting this litany on Saturdays, particularly after the Rosary, is derived from this tradition of the Order. The popularity of litanies in people's devotional life has waned, but they should not be neglected. These titles reward reflection and meditation because they contain a richness of theology and, as a list, invite us to grasp the incomprehensible and to contemplate the infinite mystery of God's plan of salvation.

Therefore, Godzdogz is happy to offer, between now and the beginning of Lent, a series of meditations on the Litany of Loreto. We hope you will visit us often over the next couple of months as  together we re-discover this ancient form of prayer.

Movie Review: Love and Other Drugs

'Love and Other Drugs', which is currently screening in the cinemas, is a film starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway, and directed by Edward Zwick. If it has to be classified in a certain genre, then one might call it a 'romantic comedy', or even a "comedy romance drama" as one Catholic reviewer put it. However, nothing in the trailer, or its classification as a romantic comedy, prepared me for the satire and portrayal of true love that underlies the more superficial aspects of the movie. But having read a number of reviews concerning this movie, it would appear that it is precisely the latter that has drawn the most attention. And this is not surprising since the movie does have a considerable amount of on-screen sex, and the film does not shy from nudity. But I am dismayed that major Catholic reviews have also been so preoccupied by the nudity and casual sex, and other acts which are "morally offensive" that they fail to highlight the good, and the moral journey that is embedded in the movie. The aim of this review is to offer what I hope is a more positive take on the movie's moral merit, and if you don't want to read any spoilers, I recommend you stop reading now, watch the movie, and then come back to this afterwards!

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Jamie, a charismatic person who uses his charms to sell pharmaceuticals for Pfizer. Part of this movie, then, is a dig at the lucrative pharmaceutical industry, and the nepotistic relationship between doctors and pharmaceutical sales representatives. But overlying what purports to be an exposé of the moral bankruptcy of the US "medical community" is a personal tale of Jamie's own initial amorality, his lust for wealth, sex, and personal gain, and how he actually matures as a person. In contrast, the industry he works in becomes ever more immature and self-centred, as epitomized (in the movie) by the run-away success of the Pfizer-developed drug, Viagra. Ultimately, sex itself is shown to be one of the drugs that one can be addicted to, often as an escape from one's pain, or a mask for one's own insecurities. And like any drug, it has a transient effect and is not ultimately satisfying.

Jamie then meets Maggie, played by Anne Hathaway, and they hit it off immediately because they both seem to want the same thing: casual sex. But Maggie has early-onset Parkinson's disease, and she uses casual liaisons to keep people away from seeing her vulnerability and fear, and also to feel wanted. Her deepest fear is that she will end up alone and abandoned because of the burden that her illness would put on those around her. So, she deeply longs to be loved, and uses sex as a poor substitute for it. But at the same time she is afraid to be loved because that means she would have to be less independent, and actually accept the help of another person, and eventually have to rely on him. This requires trust, of course, and that is possibly what we fear most about love. Fear of trusting another, and so, being vulnerable not only extends to our human relationships, but I think, it may also explain why so many of our contemporaries are afraid to have faith in God, and accept his love. We're so conditioned by society to be independent and self-reliant, or wounded by past experiences, that we might no longer know how to trust another, and be loved, even by God who is Love.

Jamie, on the other hand, does not know how to love. He only knows how to take pleasure, and aim for his own ambitious goals, and he will do anything to achieve his desires. And so, when he tells Maggies he loves her - the first time he'd ever done so in his life - the movie shows him frightened, trembling, and confused. But this realization is the first step towards his becoming human. For he finds himself, and indeed, we all do as persons, in loving others. And so, Jamie, drawn initially by the 'bait' of lust and sexual pleasure, learns to love truly. A turning point comes when Jamie encounters a man whose wife is in the advanced stages of Parkinson's. He recounts with emotion the ravages of the illness, and says that if he had known beforehand, he would not have married his wife. And one wonders if Jamie - who is desperate to find a cure for Maggie's illness for his own sake - would do the understandable thing, and run away from the relationship.

But in the end - after a few more twists to the tale - he doesn't, because he has learnt what it really means to love another, and he sacrifices a much-desired lucrative job promotion to stay with Maggie, and care for her. Hence, in both persons, we see a movement in their characters as they mature as individuals, relinquish fear and selfish pleasures, and learn to grow in the virtue of love itself. What makes this movie compelling, then, is this movement, and the movie allows us to glimpse a part of their pilgrimage of life. And I think, if we're honest, we'll see something of ourselves, and our own moral growth in them. So, seen in a positive light, this movie might well speak to our generation, which is caught up in the transient pleasures of sex and other drugs, and maybe give them pause to reflect on just how much more beautiful, enduring, and powerful love is.

Finally, this movement reminded me of Pope Benedict's words in §9 of his encyclical, Deus Caritas Est, which also invites us to discover the depths of real love. So, let his be the final words with which to reflect on 'Love and Other Drugs':

"Yet eros and agape — ascending love and descending love — can never be completely separated. The more the two, in their different aspects, find a proper unity in the one reality of love, the more the true nature of love in general is realized. Even if eros is at first mainly covetous and ascending, a fascination for the great promise of happiness, in drawing near to the other, it is less and less concerned with itself, increasingly seeks the happiness of the other, is concerned more and more with the beloved, bestows itself and wants to “be there for” the other. The element of agape thus enters into this love, for otherwise eros is impoverished and even loses its own nature. On the other hand, man cannot live by oblative, descending love alone. He cannot always give, he must also receive. Anyone who wishes to give love must also receive love as a gift. Certainly, as the Lord tells us, one can become a source from which rivers of living water flow (cf. Jn 7:37-38). Yet to become such a source, one must constantly drink anew from the original source, which is Jesus Christ, from whose pierced heart flows the love of God (cf. Jn 19:34)."

News from the Irish Province

The nuns of the Irish Province offered a series of reflections on the 'O' antiphons just before Christmas. You will find these reflections on their blog, starting here. If you would like to find out more about the vocation of the Dominican Nun visit the website of Siena Convent, Drogheda.

On Sunday 2nd January, the Second Sunday after Christmas, three Dominican friars were ordained deacons in Dublin by Archbishop Diarmuid Martin. The photograph shows fr Dennis Murphy OP being ordained. He studied at Blackfriars for two years, during which time he was a member of the Godzdogz team. We wish him and the brothers ordained with him, Maurice Colgan and Brian Doyle, every blessing in their ministry of preaching and pastoral care.

Light in the East

Our brothers in Macau have recently launched a new internet preaching project - you can visit it here.

And this is where they hang out:

Province Day-Holy Cross, Leicester

With Christmas approaching the Brothers of the Province of England gathered at our priory in Leicester for a day of prayer, reflection and fraternity. Drawing on the recent Papal visit to Britain, the day focused on the necessary dialogue between Catholicism and 'secularisation'. Simon Gaine OP gave an overview of the Pope's speeches on this subject and analysed them from a Thomist point of view. He was followed by Dr Kieran Flanagan of the University of Bristol, who examined secularisation from a sociological point of view.

Dr Kieran Flanagan and Fr Simon Gaine OP

After lunch and a brief session of provincial business the brothers gathered in the church for a period of silent prayer. A fruitful day concluded with the celebration of solemn vespers.

The province day ended a busy week for our brothers in Leicester, who had the previous week marked the tenth anniversary of the episcopal ordination of Bishop Malcolm McMahon OP with a Pontifical High Mass. The Bishop also blessed Holy Cross's new shrine dedicated to the English Martyrs. Pictures and information about the Mass and the shrine can be found on the priory's website and  here and here

(Many Thanks to Isabelle Fong for the video stills from Vespers)

Christmas Crackers 12: Solving the Puzzle

Here is the solution to the puzzle we set you on the fifth day of Christmas.

Let us know how you got on!

There are thirty books of the Bible in this paragraph. Can you find them? This is A MOSt reMARKable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket, on a flight from Los Angeles to HonoluLU, KEeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much, that he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his JOHN-boat. Another friend studied it while playing his banJO. ELaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so intrigued by it she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend JUDGES the JOB of solving this puzzle so involving, that sHE BREWS a cup of tea to help her nervES. THERe will be some names that are really easy to spot. That's a fACT. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a JAM, ESpecially since the books are not necessarily capitalized. TRUTHfully, fROM ANSwers we get, we are forced to admiT IT USually takes a priest or scholar to see some of theM AT THE Worst. Research has shown that something in our GENES IS responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund-raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta PHI-LEMONade booth set a new sales record. The local paper, The CHRONICLE, Surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As DANIEL HumaNA HUMbly puts it, 'the books are all right here in plain view hidden from sight'. THOSE Able to find all of them will hear great LAMENTATIONS from those who have to be shown. One REVELATION that may help is that books called TIMOTHY and SAMUEL may occur without their NUMBERS. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the middle are norMAL. A CHIpper attitude will help you comPETE Really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad EXODUS, there really are 30 books of the Bible lurKING Somewhere in this paragraph waiting to be found.

Christmas Crackers 11: Bloopers from Students' Essays

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, 'am I my brother's son?''

God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his 12 sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day but a ball of fire during the night.

Moses led the people to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus she sang the Magna Carta.

The epistels were the wives of the apostles one of whom was St Matthew who was also a taximan.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - corinthian, ironic, and dorc - and built the Apocolypse. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in The Iliad, by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath.

Christmas Crackers 10: Cribs to make you Cringe: The Revenge

Christmas Crackers 9: Another friar's passion

I was first taken into the hills by my father when I was a young boy and I have loved being there ever since. As a family, we used to holiday in Ayrshire and then on the Isle of Arran which gave great opportunities growing up to enjoy this and gain the skills in walking and climbing on different terrain, taking the right equipment, map reading, interpreting the weather, and so on which mean I am still alive now without too many mishaps. School trips to Snowdonia and the Lake District stretched me further – with some walks we did probably now ruled out by health and safety considerations!

I studied in Italy for 6 years and walked with friends there. I then lived in Scotland and completed my Munros in six years (the 280 or so separate mountains and hills over 3,000 feet ) and did half of the Corbetts (hills between 2,500 – 3,000 ft) before joining the Dominicans. I am not sure how much chance I will get to go into the mountains from here on in but one can live in hope and with fond and grateful memories.

To those with some knowledge of the terms I am happiest walking and scrambling and prefer not to dangle very much: scrambling means using just about any part of your body to help you get over rough or rocky, often steep, terrain: dangling requires the use of ropes. I am very happy walking on my own and very often do, but enjoy good company as well. I find being in the hills is good exercise for body and relaxation for the mind. I love nature and being away from the city and everything man-made. I like the sense of solitude and the outer and inner space being on a hill gives, allowing the mental clutter of life to fall into a clearer perspective. It is amazing how often a problem or decision resolves itself without attention while I am out walking! I love the views, especially from the peaks, and the peace and sense of communion with creation. To be honest, hill walking points me to and brings me closer to God. For all this I am most grateful.

Christmas Crackers 8: The Devil's Beatitudes

If the Devil were to write his Beatitudes, they might go something like this ...

Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week in church - they are my best workers.

Blessed are those who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked - I can use them.

Blessed are the touchy, with a bit of luck they may stop going to church - they are my missionaries.

Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone's nerves - they do my work for me.

Blessed are the troublemakers - they shall be called my children.

Blessed are those who have no time to pray - they are easy prey for me (geddit?).

Blessed are the gossipers - for they are my secret agents.

Blessed are those critical of church leadership - they are following my example.

Blessed are the complainers - I'm all ears for them.

Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people - I've got you!